*shaaat!*

first year of med school. done. to be honest, i'm not really sure how much i've learned.

here's what i know so far:
- diabetes. apparently everyone has it.
- "flung to the breeze." 1874.
- all. physicians. take. money.
- frotterism.

i 've filled my brain with rote memorization and have very little knowledge to show for it. surge and purge. surge and purge. am i worried? a little. will i do anything about it this summer? probably not. will the boards kick my ass? definitely.

i am burnt out. not just from the academic side of med school, but from the toll it took on my life in general. or lack of it.

i can't believe it's been one year since i've come back from teaching in the marshall islands. my life, my world flipped dramatically. i remember how slowly days went by in the middle of the pacific ocean. besides teaching lice-infected, raging pink-eyed kids, i would alternate my time laying on the beach, snorkeling/spearfishing, and throwing rocks at coconut trees in hopes of scoring a nice, juicy coconut to quench my thirst. you know, the important stuff.

recently, i didn't alternate anything at all...i studied (ie crammed). period. most of the time, alone. my thrill of the day would be checking my email eight times a day, thinking about where i'd eat for dinner, and getting five hours of sleep. unbelieveably depressing and lonely.

i don't regret going to med school though. when i finally piece everything together, it will be amazing to have the knowledge and power to heal someone. cheesy, but true.

in my last summer vacation ever, i'm taking back the lust for life that med school slowly drained away from me. i'm exploring parts of the world that i haven't reached yet. i'm eating at every tamale and gyro stand in chicago. i'm connecting with the great people in my class that i somehow blew off during the year. i'm playing music. i'm free reading. i'm spending an entire afternoon in bed. making out. amen, brotha. amen. it's going to be a good summer.